Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children (Film) – Review
This shit is fucking stupid.
UPDATE (02/16/2008 3:50pm PST): A few passionate e-mails from readers have pushed me to provide a little more detail regarding my opinion of this “movie.”
I am somewhat of a die-hard Final Fantasy fan. I was fourteen when Final Fantasy VII was released, and due to my social circumstances (my friends were all too cool for most videogames other than Mortal Kombat and NBA Jam), it happened to be the first RPG I ever played. It’s not something I’m proud of since other people my age were playing Zelda and Final Fantasy back on the NES and Super Nintendo, but I figure twelve years is enough time passed to finally air my dirty laundry. Despite the valid criticisms of the convoluted story in VII, I love the game’s storyline, mechanics, and the world it takes place in. Throughout the years, I’ve played through VII four times, played Dirge of Cerberus, played Crisis Core, and of course have put in near-equal efforts with every other PlayStation-released Final Fantasy installment since (not to mention most of Square’s other properties). I own soundtracks and art books. I epitomize Square’s core audience.
The two things I do appreciate about Advent Children are its blatant fan service and sometimes-pretty CG.
What I don’t like is everything else. First, the story is inconsequential to the lore, which is the least of the movie’s offenses. The antagonists (not Sephiroth) are arbitrarily thrown into the world; super human dudes, the Sephiroth Remnants, that give Cloud and the Turks a run for their money and have Rufus Shinra, the President of Shinra, totally in check. There is no explanation where they come from. I suppose the name Sephiroth Remnants would indicate the trio are parts of the decimated Sephiroth, but how or why is not addressed. Second, as far-fetched as any RPG is, the story and action here is filled with ridiculous conveniences. The fights, while pretty, are too action packed . . . far, far, FAR beyond the scope of anything that appeared in the game itself. People are flying around fighting in the air and bouncing off of walls for minutes at a time, and while getting smashed through concrete pillars and shot in the face does no harm, Cloud and Tifa find themselves incapacitated on one occasion by relatively innocuous means.
Ultimately, this movie comes off solely as a technical exercise for Square-Enix’s animation team, not an attempt to add to Final Fantasy VII’s cannon. I assume anyone who is a fan of the series has seen this already or will see it eventually, but if you are looking for anything other than a reason to say, “hey look, there’s [insert favorite character name]” you’ll be sorely disappointed.
